JD Vance and 9/11
MAGA’s ‘2025 Upcoming Conspirator Award’ Winner Nick Meyer Finds Link Between JD Vance’s Wife and 9/11
ST. LOUIS—Nick Meyer, an up-and-coming conspiracy theorist and self-described “elite thinker of the ascendent MAGA Right,” has sent shockwaves through the internet by allegedly uncovering a previously unknown connection between JD Vance’s wife and the September 11th attacks—a link he claims is hidden somewhere between Vance himself and the real temperature at which steel fails.
Meyer, a computer scientist based in what he calls “shit-hole St. Louis,” has recently skyrocketed to prominence in conspiracy circles after being awarded the prestigious ‘2025 Upcoming Conspirator Award’ at this year’s MAGA Deep State Symposium. His latest theory, which he revealed during an impassioned 45-minute Rumble livestream filmed from his car, draws an intricate web between structural engineering anomalies, globalist interference, and the fact that Vance’s wife, Usha, is, according to Meyer, “suspiciously not white.”
“Look, I’m just asking questions,” Meyer said, his voice rising as he held up a blurry printout of a Wikipedia page on thermodynamics. “We know they’ve been lying to us about the melting point of steel for decades. Jet fuel? Come on. And now we have JD Vance—Ohio senator, total patriot, except, oops, his wife is an Indian lawyer with ties to the global elite? This is Deep State 101, people!”
Meyer claims that the conspiracy traces back to the exact moment when JD Vance publicly revised his position on Donald Trump, a shift that—according to Meyer’s unverified, hand-drawn flowchart—coincided exactly with a series of unexplained structural failures in lower Manhattan buildings in 2001. “The timing is too perfect,” he insisted, while underlining the word ‘coincidence’ aggressively on a legal pad. “And when you factor in the globalist law firms, the Yale connection, and the steel industry’s long-standing ties to, well, steel, it’s all there.”
Mainstream journalists have dismissed the claims as “pure nonsense,” “beyond parody,” and “the kind of thing that gives Alex Jones indigestion,” but Meyer’s theory has gained traction in some corners of the right-wing internet. MAGA influencers, including former MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell and Twitter personality ‘Eagle1776RealPatriot,’ have voiced their support, with Lindell calling Meyer “the most important American thinker since Thomas Paine.”
At press time, Meyer was reportedly working on a follow-up theory connecting Nikki Haley to the moon landing hoax using nothing but a TI-83 calculator and an old episode of Seinfeld.
